Arnelle Strand, P.A.

Divorce is an emotional, legal and financial process.  Although traumatic, it is becoming increasingly common in the United States.  Although the divorce rate fluctuates, the overall trend has increased steadily over the past 300 years to the point now, depending on the computation, roughly  fifty (50%) percent of marriages end in divorce.  It is estimated by one expert that between forty (40) and sixty (60) percent of people now married can expect to be divorced in the next decade.  The divorce rate for second and third marriages is even higher.  You are most definitely not alone.

If you are the one seeking the divorce, before initiating divorce proceedings, you should be sure that divorce is, in fact, what you want.  Ambivalence about getting divorced is a very, very common part of the emotional process that the initiator goes through, leading up to divorce.  Although "money isn't everything", for most people, divorce is a financial disaster that results in a sharp reduction in one's overall material wealth, and an increase in day-to-day living expenses.  In simple financial terms, divorce usually means that the income for one household must now be used to pay for two households.  In addition, the property accumulated during the marriage is divided, generally in half,  and this contributes to most people's experience of being financially limited by the divorce.

Divorce also often gives rise to a variety of emotional responses, including anger, depression, grief, sadness and believe it or not, occasional euphoria and relief for one or both parties.  If children are involved, divorce will also cause emotional strain for them.

If your spouse is irrevocably committed to getting divorced, the divorce is probably inevitable, since the grounds for divorce, (i.e. your spouse's reasons) and the issue of whether or not the divorce will happen are almost impossible to contest.

However, the news is not all bad.  After a period of transition, most divorced people report that in spite of the temporary financial and emotional hardships, they are happier and more content as a result of the divorce and termination of an unsuccessful relationship.